Cannon Mills Ad - 1980s Bathroom Glamour

Joan Collins, the queen of 1980s glamour, wouldn't be caught dead creeping out of her marble and moonstone shower without a luxurious Cannon Mills towel hanging just outside ready to welcome her into terrycloth heaven. It just wouldn't suit her! As the headline says,

"Two of the most famous names in America bathe together."

I suppose back in 1984, Joan might have been one of the most famous names in America (she's British, right?)... but I'm pretty sure that Cannon Mills was never top of mind for the majority of sexy hausfraus like Joan. Either way, Joan looks great, the towels look soft and this ad is 80s divaliciousness all the way!

Smirnoff's Mule Party circa 70s

Ever heard of a Mule Party? No, me neither. So I read the fine print on this late 60s, early 70s Smirnoff ad featuring a very smiley Woody Allen and here's what I learned,

"Get a few mugs together and give a Mule Party.

When it comes to entertaining, this is the drink that is. For a cool, refreshing Mule, made with Smirnoff and 7-up, is a delicious treat you can start with and stay with. Only crystal clear Smirnoff, filtered through 14,000 lbs. of activatied charcoal, blends so perfectly with the subtle flavor of &-Up. So never forget the rule for the Mule, Make it with a Smirnoff!"

Well with the reputation of those swingin' 70s, that is certainly not what I expected! I mean the company's tagline is "It leaves you breathless." What was I supposed to think?

Betty Grable - a tale of 3 advertisements

Royal Crown Cola Advertisement • 1944Betty Grable was America's girl next door during the turbulent war-torn 1940s. She reminded the boys abroad of the comforts of home while making the girls at home proud with her feisty yet friendly femininity. The pin-up girl kept busy in between movies and photo shoots with some commercial work for the likes of Royal Crown Cola (1944), Lustre Creme and the requisite ciggie endorsement for Chesterfield.

The RC Cola and Chesterfield ads are both promoting her 20th Century Fox movie "Pin-Up Girl" while the cosmetic ad tells of her upcoming chick flick "The Farmer Takes a Wife".

Black Velvet Whisky 1978

That's right baby..... Back in 1978, Telly Savalas was a hot hunk of middle aged mystery man, so naturally he was the first one mentioned to seduce us with the smoothness of Black Velvet Whisky. As the ad says...

"There are a lot of whiskies out there. Straights. Blends. Canadians. But none can give you the exceptional feel of Black Velvet Canadian Whisky. A premium import at a very reasonable price."

What descriptive ad copy, eh? All I learned is that it's Canadian, not too expensive, and goes with my after-hours chest hair/wide collar/gold chain look... must be good!

Sunbeam's Great American Popcorn Popper, 1977

Shirley Jones slaps on a smile and hocks her heart out over the Sunbeam's Great American Popcorn Popper in this 1977 advertisement. The ad boasts,

"Here's Sumbeam's great, old-fashioned popcorn popper! Looks so super it stays here in the den."

Evidently this contraption butters four quarts of popcorn while it's popping - unless it catches on fire. These novelty appliances always look like they're gonna burst into flames. However, Shirley must really love this thing - she autographed the ad with a personal note - "I really love the quality". What a ringing endorsement. Woopee.